I was really close to my grandpa. I remember he took us to see the Harlem Globetrotters when I was little. It was so cool. He called me “Old Lady Rose”. They tell me it was because I never quit talking. I didn’t think I talked that much. lol
Anyway, when we would go to visit, I used to get up early just to eat breakfast with him before he took his metal lunch box and went to work. He was an engineer. After work, we would watch some TV and he would slip me food I wasn’t supposed to have before dinner. A I loved him so much!
He retired and after a few years, he became sick. My mom took us to the hospital. I remember standing in the doorway. He looked at me straining to remember me. He was frustrated, and I was scared. He looked like my grandpa on the outside, but his eyes weren’t him. It was like he was a stranger. My mom wanted me to go over and talk to him. She nudged me. He had a gentle smile, so I approached slowly. I gave him a hug. It was not the hug of my grandpa. I could see in his eyes, it was hurting him that he didn’t know me.
That was the last time I saw him. I couldn’t cry, I was afraid I would never stop. I let it build up inside and my ribs were sore. The pain of holding back the tears grew and was taking a toll. I had to find a way to deal with grief that worked for me. People tried to help me, but I couldn’t grieve they way they do. I figured it out and now I can handle it with God’s strength.
Call on God and he will help you.
Smile Jesus Loves you!