Personal Journal

Personal Journal

The unbelievers have no hope in distress. I saw it first hand in the hospice wing at the hospital. The saddest place I have ever been. No necessary because of the death, but for those who were fighting over the inheritance before their family member died. The ones who walked the journey of death with not even one visitor. I would pray for them and wonder what went so wrong in their life.
I know most people don’t want to think about what happens when you die. For me, it’s like an after- life plan without the paperwork or money. I am not afraid of death because I know my Savior will come for me. I have witnessed Jesus coming for his child. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I was with my mother-in-law when she passed away. She had accepted Christ into her heart only days before her death. She was unable to open her eyes for the last 24 hours and her breathing was becoming more labored. I was holding her hand standing by her bedside. Then she squeezed with a tight grip (I did not think she had that kind of strength) her eyes opened, they were bright and staring up to the corner of the room. She squeezed and released in quick motions, as if she was trying to tell me something. I felt an enormous peace come over the room. I bent down and whispered “You can go . . . I will take care of your boy.” Never taking her eyes from the corner, a smile came over her face and her hand released mine. She went home to be with Jesus. That is the way I want to die. Seeing Jesus reaching his hand out to me and the warmth of his holiness surrounding me.

That is a memory I will treasure forever. Don’t wait till you are on your on your at the end of life to decide. Because she waited so long she missed out on the comfort, strength and joy God could have been giving her all these years. The good news, even though she waited, God still forgave her and accepted her into His home forever.

Let God give you the life He intended for you, don’t wait another minute! If you are not sure how, send me a message. I will be happy to help you find your way.

Blessings
Lea Ann

Personal Journal

I lost my husband three years ago to cancer. It was a devastating time for me and my two daughters. I was married to my husband for 28 years. He handled the insurances, accounts and most everything. I felt like I was thrown into the driver’s seat right before impact. I was making life altering decisions for my husband’s last days and the future for myself and my children.

Don’t get me wrong. I am smart and capable of making decisions need to be made. It was that I had not made any decisions alone in 28 years. I was being pulled in so many directions. It seemed as though, everyone need their paperwork completed right then and there. I felt like for the longest time, I was not able to grieve. My children were looking to me for support, comfort, protection and guidance. They were my priority. I honestly don’t think I slept more than two hours a day for the first year after.

I did get to grieve, once I allowed myself. I was afraid that if I started to let go, I would able to stop. I was afraid I could not regain control of myself. You need to let yourself grieve. If you hold on to it inside, it will consume you.

My girls and I are doing well, we are settled into our new life. My daughters are laughing, smiling and moving forward. We still take our trip to Disney and celebrate my husband’s birthday as we have done since 2004. We can share funny stories without tears.

I know you feel lost and the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You feel like you won’t recover. Let God help you. He has counted every tear you have cried and He promises to be there for you. You will recover and God has an amazing plan in place for you. Trust him!

If any of you have questions or need to share, I am here for you.
Blessings

Personal Journal

Have you ever felt like your invisible? Can God see how hard
your trying to live a Godly life?

There have been times in my life when I felt alone. I cried out to
God for years in desperation to get me out of a horrible situation.
After 10 years . . . then 20 . . . then at the end of my rope 8 more years,
God freed me. During that time in my life, it seemed God forgot about me. I felt invisible.
Through it all I kept my faith. I cried a lot and slept with my Bible like a teddy bear.

I am excited for a new career and following my dream. Guess what . . . I am starting to
fell a little invisible again. I have put my heart and soul into my writings. I have spent
hours researching festivals, contest, social media, design and countless hours writing. I have
spent a lot of time with God in prayer and preparation to make sure what I am writing is honorable to
Him.

So why is He silent and I feel invisible again? I’m not sure. I do know in my heart that God is
there with me every moment of everyday. I’m missing something. It’s like when your
teacher is giving you a test, they are in the room, but they are silent.
God has already giving me the tools I need to figure it out. I keep moving forward.

Just because you may feel invisible doesn’t mean God is not there. You are at a cross roads. God wants to see what your going to do. Sometimes it is more beneficial to us if we can figure it out on our own. We feel more accomplished. We have more confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Don’t give up and keep God in the center of everything you do.

Blessings
Lea Ann

Personal Journal

God has called me to write about my experience through my husband’s cancer and death. It has been almost three years now since his passing. This is one of the hardest things I have ever written. When you write you read and re-read it multiple times. The problem is, I am living it over and over. I know God has a purpose or he would not have me do it. In a way, I think this is God’s way of helping me to heal. Every time I read it, I find something that I had forgotten or left out.

When I am writing it is personal. The details are painful. When I go back and read, I see so many opportunities missed. So many things we could have done differently. Hindsight is 20/20. Moral of the story is this: life is short, think before you speak. Your words and actions can cause such deep scars they are difficult to forgive. We had to lean on a higher power to be able to heal and forgive. In the end with God’s help we were able to put the past hurt and pain behind us.

Don’t wait too long to change your ways and seek forgiveness and healing with your friends and family. We are never promised tomorrow.

Blessings
Lea Ann